It is the10th October 2010.
I was preparing to go to Srilanka. So many things to do and things to buy to take occupied my mind.The time I spent with my Lord was less. I was stealing God's time. The result was my carnal nature began to show : I became touchy, things people said and did made me sad. I lost my joy and peace in the Lord.
Ian brought his girl to show his grand father We gave them dinner. Sice i slept in the aftoon,I was ablr to keep up till late. I could have prayed read the word ,spent some time with the Lord. No. I was not inclined that way. Then I knew I have neglected the holy Spirit.
I took one of my old note books and opened a page. What I had written there made me realise that disppointments and pain causes lonely feeling which in turn draw us near to God. God wants to draw us closer to him and be our friend .Without him we will drown into depression.
I opened a page I had written in Scotland in October2009 from Hesh's place. What i had written brought my mind back to my saviour who loves and cares for me so much. Lest I forget, when this book this thrown away, I thought I'll write it down. Here is what I had written and what i read last night.
BEAUTIFUL NEW EXPERIENCE.
I awoke at 2 30 am.I didn't want to get up and come to the kitchen[where i read and pray] i wanted to sleep a little more but i was wide awake.So many thoughts.I tried to recall what I read.I thought that only worship brings back the joy.
I tried to praise the lord but only different kinds of worship and prayers I had Participated came to my mind [prevousely gone to]I couldn't focus on Jesus. I was not happy about this wondering mindI CALLED ON THE HOLYSPIRIT TO HELP ME.
SuddenlyA song came to my mind.
' Lean on his arms, trusting in his love,
Lean on hia arm all his mercies flow,
Lean on his arms looking home above ,
just lean on the saviou's arm '
It came to my mind.It was so clear.
I paused on each line As i meditated, I literaly leaned on his arms.--Resting my mind and body. What a great relaxation came to me.I felt so relaxed after so many years may be!There is no one or nothing else to put our trust on except the promise of his everlasting love.
I recalled baby Diya looking at the face of her mom, just trusting her and sleeping with out any fearor worry.I was like that now.His love will never fail It is in abundance!As I lean on him all his mercies will flow to me as a mother's love oozes and flows to her baby.He will have pity on me. his mercy will never let me go stray away from him. His love is everlasting.He is merciful to the righteous and unrighteous.
LOOKING HOME ABOVE! What a beautiful hope!I HAVE a HOME!I can look forward to go there.It is being prepared for me. My Lord will lead me toward that home .A permanant place for me.
These days I have been visiting some homes over here. The ladieshave kept them so clean and posh.They looked so cosy,I have no place to call my own home here. .
The lord on whose arm i could just relax , while His love and mercy flow to me, is preparing me for that home! There is rest from my toil[I have not much bodily toil over here but but plenty in the mind] and life with out care, I want to be there sweet home.
Until then I'll be looking home above!
My! what a lovely thought the HolySpirit filled me with! I went to sleep with a smile on my face and woke up at 5am Now I can say 'I am walking with Jesus, there is nothing now to fear,
I am walking with Jesus there is none to me so dear,
I am walking with Jesus He wipeth every tear
I am walking alone with Jesus!.
This mornig As I copied what I wrote some years ago the holy Spirit ministered to me. Praise the lord! holy Spirit you are real .thank you.