We sing ' When I am down He lifts me up.' This was my experience this morning.
Yesterday afternoon we visited some spiritual people. When I returned, some how the joy and gratefulness I had in the morning seemed to have ebbed away. A kind of void and anxiety about my stand with God clouded my mind. Instead of praising God , I earnestly prayed to show me what I should do.
My God is so good. He ministered the instruction I needed during my meditation this morning:
' That joy may remain in you that your joy might be full' [Jn.15:11] This was the Joy what I needed and this is what I am seeking after.
I read from' My Utmost for the highest,' the following: 'The full flood of my life is not in bodily health, not in external happenings, not in seeing God's work succeed.' [I remembered that I was praising God joyfully last morning exactly for these things but that did not last] 'But in the perfect understanding of God and in communion with Him that Jesus himself had.' This is what I really needed.
I also saw the things that hindered the continuity of this flow of joy:  The irritation of thinking of circumstances we face. [Jesus called it the cares of this world] Before we know we are caught up in the show of things.
How true what the book said: 'All that God has done for us is mere threshold. He wants to get us to the place, where we will be His witness and proclaim who Jesus is'
By being rightly related to Jesus we find our joy. It is in that place "out of you shall flow rivers of living water,' begins. We become a center for Jesus Christ to pour the living water through. My heart cried, 'I want to be there Lord.'
I was also taught how we should not hinder that kind of flow:
 Stop being self conscious.
 Stop being a sanctified prig.
I realized that I had both these failures: While at worship I become self conscious and that prevents the intimate connection with Jesus. Also a self righteous attitude comes up in me and and the enemy swells it up and prevents my corporate whole heared worship .I asked the Lord to help me out of it.
The positive thing to do is to Live a life hid in Christ.
The life that is rightly related to God is as natural as breathing where ever it goes! [ That is what I am after I cried] The lives that have been of most blessing to others are those who were unconscious of it.
I remembered how simple I was some time back, thinking of pleasing God alone. Then people have remarked, what I said or did unconsciously, blessed them. But after a certain incident in my life, self consciousness crept in. I became concerned about peoples' opinions. I told the Lord all these things.
What we used to sing as children' Just a little talk with Jesus makes it right,' is so true. As I prayed,' Lord help me to be rightly connected to you all the time. Let my cup run over and bless others with your ioy, ' God's peace and Joy filled me.
I wish and pray that all who read this will be blessed.