I saw people being used of God. People coming to the Lord. I wished to be like them, an instrument, in God's hand. But I didn't feel fit enough till I read 1st Corinthians 1:27-29 which gave me the needed answer.
"God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world, the despised things- and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."
I realized to my relief that no amount of human knowledge can replace the work on the cross. If Christ could be accessible only to the highly educated and intellectually gifted then the ordinary people like me will be left out. He wants every one to be saved and be used to promote his kingdom.
Humility and Faith are the most essential qualities needed to be used of God. Faith in the words and works of Jesus; Humility to accept Him and be submitted to Him. It calls for total surrender into the loving hands of the one who knows me and my weaknesses.
I remembered a proverb my mother used to say: "In the hands of the mighty, even a blade of grass would be a useful instrument"
I whispered a prayer: "I surrender myself to you Lord"